The Shadow Hunter

This question came to me after I had a wonderful conversation tonight with a dear friend.  If I were to be totally and honest with myself...was I really living for ME?  Or for other people? I guess several years ago I never would have even thought to ask myself this question.  For most of my life, I wore the term "people-pleaser" with a shrug and a smile, and I secretly loved it. A few years back someone wrote in one of my performance reviews at work (don't get me started on these) that I was "hard-wired to please". I remember reading this comment with an odd mix of disdain and satisfaction as I held the paper in front of my boss, who was beaming with pride as he delivered this news. I actually got a promotion that day.   At the time, this only caused a very, very small red flag to go up in my heart. The rest of me was like YES YAY EVERYONE LOVES ME I'M STILL EMPLOYED WHEW.  Shocker. In general, I liked making people happy, and and it made me happy that the

You all know that song, right? "Wake me up" by Avicii? So wake me up when it's all over When I'm wiser and I'm older All this time I was finding myself, and I Didn't know I was lost I had been hearing this song for years until it finally made sense to me.  What does waking up to find yourself really mean? And how do you figure out who you REALLY are?  Let me tell you a story.  I think the best stories always start with "once upon a time".  However, this isn't fairy tale, this is real life. And real life is messy.  So we'll start with this...once upon a MESSY time. I had a mid-life crisis. Or rather, I THOUGHT I had a mid-life crisis. I had a successful career in advertising, I had recently quit my job to travel the world and work remotely, and everything was falling into place. Accept, it wasn't. I was massively stressed trying to launch a freelance career, working 50-60 hours a week, surviving on espresso and tequila, and blending my sal