The Shadow Hunter

The Last Judgement -- Cattedrale di Santa Maria del Fiore Duomo, Florence, Italy "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." I said these words while staring down at my folded hands, clasped together nervously. My knees were shaking as I breathed in the stale air of the tiny, wood paneled confessional with the red carpet. My chair creaked.  I chose to sit across from the priest, looking into his kind face as he smiled at me. "What would you like to confess, Kristina?" Fr. Litzau was a kind, generous man. He was soft spoken and had a gentle way of being.  He knew me already. I had started singing for church masses when I was 7 years old, leading the entire liturgy in song.  He always had thanked me after Mass and this gratitude stuck with me for the previous 3 years.  Today, in parochial school, for religion class during Lent, we had "group reconciliation" -- where instead of class, we all came to confess our sins.  While there were a number of priests available

“If you die before you die, you won’t die when you die.” Inscription over the door to St. Paul's Monastery, Mt. Athos Mt. Athos in Northern Greece is one of those places that gave me goosebumps.  I can see why people thought, hundreds of years ago, that this mountain ITSELF was holy.  It has this awe inspiring, etherial quality of this towering mountain on the very edge of the deep blue sea.  And because of these qualities...they built a monastery on top of it.  So that people could be closer to God.  While it's not currently open to women (sigh) I stayed at a hotel that I could see the sunrise over the holy mountain many years ago and it was magic. But apparently, there is a strange quote on the door.... “If you die before you die, you won’t die when you die.” You are probably thinking to yourself...Kristina.   How the HELL do you do die before you die??!?!?! ... I'm going to let you in on a little secret... You've already died at least once.  And have been reborn. Yup

I recently discovered something rather alarming about the way I travel.  Flying is the easy part for me.  But airports are my nemesis .  This is a relatively new discovery, as traveling used to barely affect me.  (Or, let's be honest, it did affect me -- but I was too busy to let it really bother me.) This year, and last, I've been very fortunate to be able to do some international travel again.  After Covid, admittedly, I didn't travel much. Or, at all. I cut myself off from the world and focused inward, to figure out who I was at my core.  This was a huge time of introspection and deep inner work.  Which meant I was a HUGE introvert at home with my spiritual books and meditation mat.  And slowly, with many tools and much guidance and patience, I started figuring out who I was, what I wanted from life, and what my truth is.  Over this time I grew very content at home in my happy little "cave", sitting outside in my garden, by the fireplace or near my sacred spac

Have you ever heard something that completely changed how you viewed your life? Today I want to share a saying that comes from one of my heroes -- my grandfather.  My grandfather was a very DEEP, wise man.  His life was far from easy.  He went from being the son of a very successful third generation piano and pipe organ company in Germany, right before WWII, to losing literally everything, nearly dying once from shrapnel wounds and later from typhoid.  Then he had to start from scratch in America after leaving a war-torn country with his young wife, my grandmother, and with two little girls (my aunts) and later, my mom.  One of the things he taught me, growing up, when we would play chess together (I never won and he usually fell asleep after I would take FOREVER to move) was:   γνῶθι σεαυτόν (gnóthi seautón) which is Greek for... Know Thyself.  This philosophical saying is inscribed at the Temple of Apollo in Greece, in the ancient precinct of Delphi.  You know, where the famous Orac