How to: find your power in the chaos

Have you ever had one of those moments...where it feels like everything is falling apart?

You know. 

Where you're standing on a cliff edge, unable to see or sense what comes next...

I've got a little secret. 

The chaos you're feeling? It’s not here to destroy you.

It’s here to set you free.

Right now, the world is asking us to shed the old ways of surviving...so we can step into a truer way of living.

If you’re in the thick of it, if the ground beneath your feet feels shaky, this post is for you.

Right now, things are INTENSE, my friends. I get it.

Almost every single soul that I've talked to is undergoing some deep transformative experience. 

Astrologically we have Mars in Leo in an opposition to Pluto in Aquarius. 

This energy is about radical change that challenges the very core of how we operate on a subconscious level. 

If you are going through something intense at the moment -- please know that it will pass. 

Many of those I've spoken to recently have left a job or are changing jobs. 

Moving homes or moving across the country.

Others are undergoing surgery, or helping someone who has. 

Others are grieving the death of a parent, a child, a loved one.

Still others are grappling with an intense betrayal, family complications, legal battles and far more. 

Every single human is living a complex life, full of massive growth moments and changes. 

You are NOT alone, my friend.

What you are working through right now is temporary.

YOU GOT THIS.

You are doing the VERY best that you can. 

Please give yourself some grace and some credit. 

But when the world feels like a freakin' merry-go-round...

How do you find the way back to you, back to your core -- your truth -- when everything around you feels like it is falling apart?

Let's dive in. 

Step 1: Reclaim Your Power

Yes, my friend. You have power. 

Your attention is power.

Your energy is power.

Imagine all the people, places, businesses that you are pouring your power into right now -- just by managing the energy they require on a daily basis.

Friends. Close/extended family. Home. Pets. Work. Kids. 

Relationships. Partnerships. Work contracts. 

But also...this could be where you are giving your attention to the media, to social media. 

To alcohol. 

To online shopping. 

To the screens. 

Let's be honest. 

In some cases, what you are pouring into - ain't pouring back. 

This could be where you are focusing on things that pull you into a cycle of depression.

CALL BACK YOUR POWER, my friends.

No one has any control over your emotions unless you allow it to be so.

I say this sometimes, to clear my energy and call in my power -- when I feel overwhelmed:

I call back my power from any person, place or thing that is influencing my energy.

I call back my power from all time, space, and dimensions. 

I clear, cleanse and release any and all energy that is not my own, that is not to my highest good.

I cut, clear and release any chords, limiting beliefs or fears that have attached to me.

I am unbound. I am sovereign. No energy that I hold is above my own. 

My energy returns to me cleansed and free.

I am whole. I am worthy. I am love. 

If you're open, try saying it out loud -- and feel the shift, my friends. 

YOU ARE FREE.

Humor me. Feel into it for a second -- your power.

Where does it live in your body?

Is it radiating from your heart, as love?

Or maybe from your solar plexus -- right above your naval -- as confidence?

Wherever it lives in your body, ask this energy of your own power to intensify.

You may feel a buzzing energy in your palms, or a tingling in your heart.

Feel into this energy and know that no one controls you.

No. One. 

That feels good, doesn't it?

Everything is energy, my friends, and yours. Is. Powerful.

Call it back to you, and recognize that your attention is your power -- make sure what you are giving it to gives back to you.

Step 2: Love, Not Obligation.

Someone asked me this once in a mentoring session -- "are you living for you, or are you living for other people?"

I know, it's a tough question. I may have blanked for bit!

I wanted to be of service and wanted to help others. 

But sometimes, I realized, that I was living just to PLEASE others so they will continue to like me. 

If I do what they want, they will keep asking me for work.

If I do what they want, they will love me.

Here's a secret -- living your life for others will never bring you inner peace.

Living for YOU, will. 

I had a dream once that I was visiting a friend in a beautiful home. 

This friend had a house with many rooms, and each room was filled with a different friend or relative.

But person who owned the home sadly told me there wasn't any space left for me to stay, and they themselves slept on the couch, because there wasn't any space left for them.

They had given it all away. 

And now they had a backache from sleeping on the couch. 

From carrying it all for others. 

I have lived this way, my friends. I know it too well.

When you want others to be happy, so you sacrifice your well-being and happiness to serve them. 

But ultimately, you are doing both them and you a disservice. 

You end up pouring out all your energy so you are burned out, and you cannot pour from an empty cup.

Soon, you have nothing to give, and your friends wonder what happened. 

This energy is asking you to give from LOVE, not from fear.

You may be thinking -- ok, Kristina. I am giving from love, I love my friends! I love my job! 

And I'd ask -- tell me, is it from obligation that you give -- in worry that they may not like you if you DON'T give them what they want -- or from true, unconditional love?

This is a new way of living.

If who you are serving is coming from a place of obligation -- reassess before you give your energy and time away.

Pour back into you, FIRST. Then you can give from a place of generosity and love.

Fuel up YOU. Love you, first. 

Then you will have the strength to give love generously. 

Step 3: Let it Flow. Then Let it Go. 

Sometimes we need to take a step back and take a look at what's really going on.

I often ask myself, "where am I forcing something vs. letting it flow" -- or...letting it go.

For me, this has showed up in all sorts of ways -- from career to friendship. 

And it took a while before I realized how much I was trying to control the situation.

Yup. There it is. The c word. 

Control is a tricky little thing. We think that when we have it, we can prevent anything bad from happening.

We can control the conversation, the outcome.

But that's where the illusion is. It's in releasing control that the freedom lives.

Control can come in a variety of ways. 

It can feel oppressive or mildly suggestive. It can be friendly or manipulative. 

No one WANTS to be controlled by anyone else, yet we are constantly striving to become in control of a situation.

I had a moment a few months ago where I witnessed control in an unusual way - it was directed at me.

I was on a beautiful trip in Hawaii, taking a moment to take in the golden hued sunset. 

I was alone, my companions were off exploring. 

I was sitting on a bench, in silence, enjoying the warm breeze through the palm trees from the hotel lawn.

A man sat down next to me to view the sun dip into the water. 

I could feel his sadness creep up like a cloud from about 5 feet away -- and it was becoming unsettling.

I remained silent until I felt the need to speak up and so I turned to him and simply said:

"Everything is going to be ok." And smiled. 

I couldn't help myself, the words flew out of my mouth. He started crying. 

Moved, I turned toward him and asked if I could help. 

He then starting sharing details about his life -- that his son recently passed away, that the partner he was supposed to travel with to Hawaii had decided not to go with him.

I listened politely.

He then started to tell me details of his personal spiritual journey -- and how he had connected with a spiritualist who had been helping him. 

Though he admitted that not all that she had spoken about resonated with him. 

He was grappling with the "all or nothing" approach that she preached toward his religion -- that you had to believe certain things and chant certain prayers in order to achieve holiness. To have your prayers answered. 

I listened, and he asked what my perspective was. 

I responded, "I think, you choose your own truth. You can decide which of this person's teachings you want to listen to, and which don't resonate. The truth is inside YOU -- your heart. No one controls what you believe."

This may have struck a chord, and the man started to ask me more questions about how I came to this truth. 

He started moving closer and closer to me on this bench. 

(Red flag, Kristina. Red. FLAG.)

I stayed where I was, still listening. He explained that the woman he followed as a spiritual leader had helped him so much, and he wanted to show me a photo of her.

Ok....

But then things got....very weird. 

He pulled up a photo of her on his phone, tilting the screen my way so I could see it. I nodded politely. 

And then suddenly shouted at me --"I NEED TO BLESS YOU WITH HER ENERGY. SHE WILL HONOR YOU."

He grabbed his phone, and shoved it up against my face -- holding up the picture of her on his phone against my forehead and then gripping the back of my head to keep the phone in place -- while chanting a prayer of "blessing" that would connect her image to me.

It was awkward, aggressive, and VERY strange. 

"Whoa!" was all I could manage -- shocked that someone would do this. 

He did not ask if he could place his hands, or his cellphone -- on my face. 

I recoiled, and disentangled my head from his grasp. 

I quickly stood up...wanting to move away as soon as possible, hoping to end this strange interaction. 

He was embarrassed, thrown off by my sudden movement. 

He asked me to stay to chat more -- wondering if I could give him my name, my email, my information.

I wished him a good evening and walked away. 

In that moment, I understood. 

Forcing ANYTHING on someone else is not honoring their free will. 

Even if it is meant well. As a "blessing." 

Willing someone else to accept what you believe as THEIR truth does not honor them, or you.

It is simply control. 

I realized that though I have my own beliefs on spirituality, and I speak frequently about energy and spirituality and meditation, every single human is allowed their own beliefs.

I recognized -- where had I shoved someone's face in my own beliefs?

Where had I been forcing something that just didn't work?

Oof. 

It was a powerful, and humbling realization. 

And I'll never forget it.

Here's the real, honest truth: you are allowed to let go of anything that tries to control you, diminish you, or pull you away from your own heart.

You are here to live freely, to love deeply, and to trust the wisdom inside you.

If it feels controlling, it feels like it is pulling all of your energy away from you...it is most likely not in your highest good.

But this can sometimes be hard to recognize. 

It can LOOK like a blessing, wrapped in invisible control. 

It's asking to peel back the layers and take a good hard look at how it feels -- not just what it is. 

There will be moments when the world feels loud and heavy, when others push their truths onto you, when the chaos outside tempts you to abandon your center.

This is when life tests you the most.

But you are stronger than the noise.

Stronger than the fear.

Your power is not about control.

Your power is in presence.

Your power is in trust.

Your power has, and will always be -- within YOU.

Let the old fall away.

Let this challenge transform you. 

All is temporary -- and soon you'll be on the other side of it, looking back with more wisdom. 

You are not lost. You are not broken. 

You are finding yourself.  Keep going, my friend.

You got this.