The Shadow Hunter

Have you ever had one of those dreams where you've woken up and you're like... DAMN.  THAT dream was intense. That dream must have MEANT something. Want to know more about them, how to hack them to gain clarity and peace? Let's go! So... This blog post was inspired by one of my former reoccurring nightmares. Yup.  I will preface this entire post to say, my dreams are NOT normal, so continue at your own enjoyment. (Or horror!) Over the years I've done a bit of an experiment with my dreams.  They've honestly been weird and intense since I was a child (for my fellow astrology nerds, I have Venus in the 12th house so that must explain something haha).  I've trained myself to remember my dreams and write them down, so I have them tracked in all the both fantastic and gory detail over the last 4 years of my life.  I have one very giant note on my phone.  I'm sure ChatGPT could tell me allll sorts of things about how strange I am should I plug that baby into it!  W

The Last Judgement -- Cattedrale di Santa Maria del Fiore Duomo, Florence, Italy "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." I said these words while staring down at my folded hands, clasped together nervously. My knees were shaking as I breathed in the stale air of the tiny, wood paneled confessional with the red carpet. My chair creaked.  I chose to sit across from the priest, looking into his kind face as he smiled at me. "What would you like to confess, Kristina?" Fr. Litzau was a kind, generous man. He was soft spoken and had a gentle way of being.  He knew me already. I had started singing for church masses when I was 7 years old, leading the entire liturgy in song.  He always had thanked me after Mass and this gratitude stuck with me for the previous 3 years.  Today, in parochial school, for religion class during Lent, we had "group reconciliation" -- where instead of class, we all came to confess our sins.  While there were a number of priests available

“If you die before you die, you won’t die when you die.” Inscription over the door to St. Paul's Monastery, Mt. Athos Mt. Athos in Northern Greece is one of those places that gave me goosebumps.  I can see why people thought, hundreds of years ago, that this mountain ITSELF was holy.  It has this awe inspiring, etherial quality of this towering mountain on the very edge of the deep blue sea.  And because of these qualities...they built a monastery on top of it.  So that people could be closer to God.  While it's not currently open to women (sigh) I stayed at a hotel that I could see the sunrise over the holy mountain many years ago and it was magic. But apparently, there is a strange quote on the door.... “If you die before you die, you won’t die when you die.” You are probably thinking to yourself...Kristina.   How the HELL do you do die before you die??!?!?! ... I'm going to let you in on a little secret... You've already died at least once.  And have been reborn. Yup

I recently discovered something rather alarming about the way I travel.  Flying is the easy part for me.  But airports are my nemesis .  This is a relatively new discovery, as traveling used to barely affect me.  (Or, let's be honest, it did affect me -- but I was too busy to let it really bother me.) This year, and last, I've been very fortunate to be able to do some international travel again.  After Covid, admittedly, I didn't travel much. Or, at all. I cut myself off from the world and focused inward, to figure out who I was at my core.  This was a huge time of introspection and deep inner work.  Which meant I was a HUGE introvert at home with my spiritual books and meditation mat.  And slowly, with many tools and much guidance and patience, I started figuring out who I was, what I wanted from life, and what my truth is.  Over this time I grew very content at home in my happy little "cave", sitting outside in my garden, by the fireplace or near my sacred spac