How to: pursue your purpose

Sometimes purpose feels...slippery.

We're told to “pursue” it, like it’s some distant prize.

But purpose is more like... a partnership.

It asks for your curiosity and your willingness to grow.

Sometimes we know what it is.

Sometimes it finds us after a loss or challenge.

Sometimes it’s been quietly calling us since we were kids.

For me, I think I was always meant to be an entrepreneur. To work for myself.

Fun fact: I started my first business at age 11 (well, technically 11 and a half — that half mattered to me).

What kind of business does an 11-year-old have? 

Not many.

But I was determined. Babysitting seemed like a solid start.

I begged my parents to let me take the Red Cross babysitting course, even though you technically had to be 12. 

My mom convinced them I was “very mature” (and maybe I was… or maybe I just really wanted this).

I devoured every book from the library — from The Ultimate Babysitting Guide to The Babysitters Club. 

I made flyers, knocked on doors (this was the 90s, no internet), and eventually got my first gig three doors down from my house.

They had an infant, and the parents looked at me like I was offering their first chance at freedom in MANY months. 

We arranged a date, and I came over to their house (flyers in hand for referrals, my babysitting 3 ring binder, toys for the baby, a granola bar for me -- this is hungry work.) 

I sat on the couch and listened to their instructions -- bottles are here, diapers are here, call us if you need us and BYE. 

They quickly left. 

I took a deep breath and stared at the cute baby. 

I got this. This was easy. Right? Right. 

The baby was blissfully asleep. For hours.

Until. He wasn't.

His eyes blinked open, realized I was a STRANGER and wouldn't stop wailing.

Cue panic. 

Crying. 

I started...singing. 

Celine Dion (yes, really). 

I sang most of the Falling Into You album with Celine faces and everything and it worked until it didn't and this little guy was hitting nuclear meltdown mode...

Ohcrapohcrapohcrap

I tried everything until, finally, in desperation, I called my mom. 

Her advice? “Did you try a pacifier?”

Face palm.

Yeah. I hadn’t.

That night, I felt like a failure. 

The whole evening felt way out of control, and I felt completely unprepared despite my training...it left me not wanting to try babysitting again for quite a while. 

I was crippled with self-doubt after one night! 

One. Night. 

I packed away my flyers and my dreams. 

But a few months later, a new opportunity came along.

This time, with a family of three little girls. We played hide-and-seek, colored, and laughed.
I made $25!! And my 12-year-old self felt like I made it.

My first lesson in purpose... growth comes when we often feel out of control. 

When life hands us sticky moments and says -- how would you like to choose to respond to this?

Purpose isn’t found in perfection.

It’s found in the trying. And in the trying again.

Lee Harris speaks about this beautifully. He says when we align with our purpose, it’s less about striving and more about allowing. 

Purpose asks you to meet it halfway - with heart, with humility, and with intention.

So, if you’re searching for your purpose...here’s what I’ve learned:

1) Start with an intention, but hold on loosely (let it evolve):

When I started creating my own business(s) each have begun with a very simple intention:

11 year old me: I want to take care of kids (for a night) and have fun doing it.

30 year old me: I want to have my own brand strategy business where I can help small businesses to thrive. 

39 year old me: I want a business that empowers individuals to live a more authentic life. 

As you can see, my intention has evolved over time -- as I've changed, it has changed. 

But you have to want it -- BADLY.

It's that core deep, intense feeling of -- I've always wanted to do ...X.

Solve for X....what is X for you?

What would you regret not doing on your deathbed?

Is it...

Writing a book?

Starting a YouTube channel?

Learning to paint?

Taking a once-in-a-lifetime trip?

Switching careers and doing something RADICALLY different?

Working for yourself? 

Becoming a midwife or a death doula?

Learning: astrology, rock-climbing, cycling, cross-fit, wilderness survival, ancestor connection?

Up-cycling furniture, clothing, homes?

Becoming a yoga instructor?

Studying plants, or plant medicine?

Cooking, baking, making beer?

Helping children? Animals?

Helping the homeless?

Leading people, teaching, coaching?

Find the X first... what has always driven you from a deep, core, intrinsic level -- that feels so damn good when you're doing it that you light up just thinking about it...

Maybe it is even something you loved or were drawn to as a kid.

THAT.

That juicy bit. Start there. Move towards that.

That is liquid GOLD, my friend. That comes along rarely, and when you grasp that feeling...

It feels like...honey. Like joy. Like...sparks of light in every cell of your body.

It is undeniable. 

When you have participated or thought about this thing, you think, "This is where my soul feels happy". 

This is how it begins. 

Dig into that a little deeper, my friend. That will get you started!

Then...try that THING. 

Take one, small step towards what you love. 

Whatever is a step that gets you closer to that activity...be it a class, a book, a podcast, a session, an email, whatever it is....just try it. 

You are saying YES to you, and that's what matters. 

2) Doubt is very seductive. Don't give in.

OK, here's the tricky bit: trying something new isn't always... easy.

It takes effort, and courage. 

When we start something new we're often filled with enthusiasm...until the first bump in the road happens. 

Then we throw the whole thing out the window. 

Our ego often will try to convince us that just because it's challenging, it is dangerous.

(Que my babysitting adventure). 

The safety of our old life looks so much...more comfortable.

So we drop the thing we're exploring and go back to the familiar. 

We say, "I'm too busy..." or..."I'll do it later".

I get it, my friends. I procrastinated for years before I made leaps towards my purpose work. So many doubts came up.

"What if I'm bad at it?" 

"What will other people think?"

It really doesn't matter what anyone thinks about your life -- but you. 

But truth be told -- when you are ready to make a change, those around you will project their doubts and fears on to you. 

Remember that these are often people who had dreams, but gave up on them.

Or people who think they know your life better than you do.

Stay the course, my friend.

When in doubt, look back at how far you've come and tune out any voice that isn't belonging to your highest self. 

Give yourself a little credit! And a little nudge. 

You don't need other people to approve of what your dreams are. Just the opposite.

The only person who needs to love this idea is...YOU.

Validate yourself. You have come so far...you can keep going. But it always helps to have people in your corner that support you no matter what.

Love will never, ever stop you from becoming. 

I read a quote that said,  "True love doesn't clip your wings."

Find the people that will root for you no matter what. They care about your healing.

They celebrate that you went to that AA meeting.

They care when you decided to quit smoking. 

They ask how your new business or class is going -- they are genuinely invested in your life, your purpose. 

Keep them close, they will fuel you. 

3) The treasure is within you.

The real, honest truth of it all, is that pursing your purpose is an inside job.

It is taking time to recognize your power, and your worth.

It is shedding all the old beliefs, patterns and ideals that were pushed on to us in childhood by our parents, by society, the media, the government, religion, etc.

It is what you have always known about yourself that you DEEPLY love and resonate with, but that the world has convinced you out of.

Start there, my friends.

 The universe will conspire to help you but you need to take the first step and tell the universe...

I am ready to pursue my purpose.

Help guide me toward the people/classes/activities that honor my soul truth.

Help me to live in accordance with inner alignment.

I am ready, Universe. Show me how good it can get.

Purpose isn’t some perfect path.

It is a series of messy, human moments where you try, fall down, try again, and slowly grow into the person you were always meant to be.

If you're wondering where your purpose is, ask:

• What did I love doing when no one was watching?
• What’s one thing I’ve been afraid to try, but can’t stop thinking about?
• What’s the smallest next step I could take today?

If you’re not sure where to start, set a clear intention and let the universe meet you halfway.

"I’m ready to step toward my purpose. Show me what’s next."

That’s enough to open the door.

Keep going, my friend. 

You got this.