Finding Peace is Worth It (even if you fall over)

The title of the blog was inspired by a failed yoga session. 

OK, maybe failure is a little harsh, we’ll go with…attempted. An attempted yoga session. 

When it comes to working out, I’m all about HIIT workouts where I can push my body to the max for 20 minutes and then promptly move on to something else. 

Or…a long walk outside where I can look around and absorb all the nature around me.

When it comes to exercise for me, I like to be entertained. 

Yoga always seemed a little…slow, and I needed something more attention-holding so I avoided it because I thought it “wasn’t for me”. 

But lately I’ve been having some hip pain so I decided…ok. I’ll do a yoga flow.

This should help. Maybe. Hopefully. 

However, I’d forgotten something. I do not have a great history with yoga. 

I remember taking a hot yoga class with one of my friends several years ago and the teacher came up to me and put her hand on my shoulder. She looked at me seriously and instructed me to, “relax". I laughed a bit at that. I’m notoriously BAD at relaxing. Seriously. (Meditation has helped a lot with this!). 

She also looked at my downward dog pose (with a tinge of judgement in her voice….or maybe that’s just how I remember it) and said something like, “can you press your heels down just a little more?”. 

Hah! Uh. No. I can’t, dear instructor. 

I wore very high heels for many years and I think I’ve permanently shrunk my hamstrings…(whoops)…so, nope. This is what you get from me. Take it or leave it! 

But in any case, at home, with my laptop and my yoga mat…there’s not a single person judging me. Thank goodness. 

I went into this “simple” yoga flow, thinking that this is delightful and relaxing…until there’s some stretch where you’re kneeling/sitting/bending and have to grab your opposite ankle with your other hand and hold it…and….

thunk. 

I promptly fell over. 

Head to the floor, straight off the mat, in a weird flopped shape. Ow. Extremely elegant.

Stop laughing! (Haha you can laugh. I laughed too). 

At first? I was frustrated. Wasn’t this supposed to be a SIMPLE yoga flow and I fell over? Why couldn't I get it? And...what happens in the advanced classes? Let’s not find out. 

But then it occurred to me…yoga is a practice. You need to practice.

This is much like meditation. It too is a practice. 

When I first started meditating, I could barely stay focused for 5 minutes, my mind kept wandering all over the place, and I wanted to give up. 

Then, I was able to go a little deeper…10 minutes. Then 12 minutes. Then 15 minutes. This was the perfect time for me for weeks, but then I hit this plateau for a while would go into a crazy trance-like state and couldn’t come out of it…I felt very disorientated after some of these sessions. I hadn’t learned how to come OUT of meditation correctly, so I had to learn this too. 

Again, it takes practice. 

Some people ask me what meditation FEELS like. 

The simplest way I can describe it is…have you ever walked out into vast sparkling water on a warm sunny day? 

Perhaps you stepped a few yards into a warm turquoise ocean (or even at a peaceful lake) and just seen all the beautiful water around you, felt the sun on your face and the breeze blowing gently around you... and you feel completely alone and at peace? 

No one wants anything from you, no noise, no phone ringing, nothing you need to worry about…it’s just you. And that water. You’re connected to yourself and something else that is vast, infinite and beautiful. 

This to me, this is what I feel when I meditate. A deep connection with limitless peace. 

Sounds good, yes? 

Ok, then…how do you GET to this state?

For me… the easiest way to start meditation is to turn my phone on do not disturb. 

I mentally tell myself that everything and everyone can wait 20 minutes. I light my candles (LOTS of these, probably a fire hazard) burn a bit of palo santo and switch my brain to relax-mode. 

Sometimes it helps me to listen to a guided meditation, there are hundreds on YouTube…or download some binaural beats playlists on Spotify. 

(PS: 528 hz frequency music is incredible to relax with -- but essentially, binaural beats have healing frequencies for your mind and body. It's music that plays two different frequencies in each ear (bi-meaning two) that allows your brain to relax more fully into an alpha or theta pattern. This makes getting into a meditative state far easier!)

I then lie on the floor on my yoga mat, with my spine as straight as possible, and to count down from 10, slowly relaxing more and more as I count down to 1.

I breathe deeply, connecting to my breath. I envision myself connecting to the earth, to the cosmos, the infinite —  to the light above and below me. I allow the light to expand from me out over the entire earth, like a blanket of light. I feel the ground beneath me and I imagine that I feel deeply connected to the earth that’s holding me at that moment…supporting me. 

And here, in that stillness — you stay for a few beautiful minutes. Just listening. 

This is where the beauty really lies -- its where time stops and you're free to connect to the Divine. 

In this space, I connect to my heart. My soul.

I connect to the light, the God-space within my heart chakra, and imagine a ball of light traveling from my heart to expand over my entire body, clearing with it any energy I wish to release. 

Any emotions that come up, I simply let them go without judgement. I then ask this light to infuse all my cells with healing energy.

In this space, it is just me, connecting with All That Is. No one else. I can ask deep questions to find the truth, or ask nothing at all and just observe. 

In any case -- the true gift here is that in this space, you're finding the light, the peace within yourself -- and the best way I can describe it is this incredible feeling of being loved unconditionally.

Before I leave, I express gratitude for this gift -- the gift of connection. 

And when I’m ready (or after the song or the guided meditation ends) I count again from 10 to 1, counting up, bringing my mind firmly back into my body, my awareness. I am now centered and grounded, and my mind feels fresher and better than it was before. 

If you get frustrated that this meditation may be challenging at first…please, do me a favor and pat yourself on the back. 

Congratulations! YOU TRIED it! 

That’s progress. Don’t give up. Try again tomorrow. And the next day. Try a different meditation or sit in a different way. Find what works for you. 

It’s all about practicing, and I promise it gets easier over time. I’ve found that if I miss my meditation I feel off, disconnected from myself — so I try to make time for it every day. Sometimes it’s an 8 minute meditation before a day of meetings, and sometimes (blissfully!) it’s a 40 minute deep energy clearing meditation.

If you had told me over a year ago that I’d be able to stop my racing thoughts for 40 full minutes I would have LAUGHED and never believed you. 

But, I’m living proof! It can and does work.

There’s no set way — just start, and start with just a few minutes and I promise — you will reap the incredible rewards of absolute peace.

And, if you’re struggling to find a meditation you like online — let me know! I’m happy to send you one I like or even record one for you. 

And. In the meantime…I am MORE than happy to accept any and all yoga advice...

Clearly I need it. I’ll keep practicing!

And as always. Breathe. You got this.