The Best Gift Ever: A Gift to Yourself

Happy Christmas season, friends!

As everyone gets ready for Christmas, you're probably thinking of all the things you need prepare for others by the end of the week. 

Do you have a list of things to get done? 

I know, it can be a lot!

However, take a moment and think about this...what gift are you giving to yourself this year? 

Have you thought about what YOU want? 

We're often so hard on ourselves. We often ignore what we want in favor of what others need from us. 

And what we deliver to others needs to be "perfect".

I get it. I'm a Virgo, it is literally in my nature to be a perfectionist.

I used to judge myself by my own standards of perfection:

at work (I once had a client tell me I was "overly thorough"...wait, that's not a good thing?!)...

at home (I used to own 4 vacuums and religiously clean every Saturday. I had a friend tell me once they would feel comfortable eating off of my kitchen floor haha)...

in friendships or relationships, etc. 

If something went wrong in any of these areas, I would blame myself. I would speak negatively to myself, be mad and feel angry at myself for something I didn't complete perfectly. 

I would go into this negative spiral that was literally of my own making and tell myself every little detail of what went wrong. 

(Any chronic worriers reading this? I see you!)

This critical self-talk was literally killing my joy. I had to let this go completely and literally snap out of this pattern. 

Instead, I started treating myself as I would one of my closest friends. 

Think about it this way. 

If one of your friends came to you and started telling you about something that went wrong for them at work, with their parents or with their kid -- what would your response be? 

Would you get upset with them? 

Tell them they should be ashamed for this happening? 

Would you make them feel guilty for the outcome?

Of. Course. Not. 

You would respond with forgiveness. 

Compassion. 

Understanding. 

Support. 

You would listen and, if desired, offer to help find a solution with them.

Here's a gift idea -- start treating YOU like you would your closest friend. 

Give yourself the gift of LISTENING to yourself. 

Of responding to your thoughts with acceptance. 

Forgive yourself for what you did not know before that you know now. 

When you release these old thoughts and let them go for good, you can move forward -- and find what brings you joy. 

Look back on the year and look at all the GOOD you've done. 

What's your happiest memory? 

Infuse positivity and light into your world, and release any hurt that's holding you back. 

Here are a few positive thought starters:

• What can I be thankful for that the year has brought me? 
• What good things have I learned?
• How can I honor what has passed?
• How have I changed for the better? 
• How have I been able to integrate the parts of me that I used to ignore or blame or shame?

Take a minute to validate yourself for how far you've come -- this year hasn't been easy!

Seriously, try it. Right now, as you're reading this blog. 

Stop for a second and say to yourself -- I did it. I got through this year. I'm proud of myself.

Even if it feels strange, it's not. (And even if you don't say this, know that I'm proud of you!)

Feels good, doesn't it?

When we look inwards at ourselves with self-acceptance and love, we view what has happened in our lives as a lesson. 

We learned that lesson, it's okay to release it in order to move forward. 

Here are some examples of things you can release. 

This year, for me: 

I let go of perfection -- the perfectly done report, the perfectly decorated home, the perfect Christmas cards -- I've stopped obsessing over these things, because they never truly made me happy. I now accept what I can (and cannot) do. 

I let go of running away from my feelings. I let go of hiding how I feel and not expressing my truth. I'm honest with myself, and I'm working on how to express myself more honestly with others.

Often, this means having better boundaries, and expressing clear boundaries with compassion. This isn't easy at all, especially with family -- as there are emotional ties. Honoring yourself means being able to express what you need as well, not just what someone else wants. 

I let go of comparing myself to other people. Everyone is on their own path, and thinking that someone's else path needs to be yours will take away your happiness. 

I'm letting go of self-doubt. 

Case in point: I had a project come up this summer where a timeline was shifted on a project and I needed to write a brand strategy in 48 hours.

My first reaction? PANIC. Red lights whirring, alarm bells sounding in my brain. 

This reaction was one of FEAR. That didn't sit well with me. 

I stopped dead in my tracks. I sat down. Turned off my phone. Meditated. Went within for a bit and the thought came to me -- you've done this before, many times. Have faith in yourself that you can accomplish this. 

And you know what? I did. I wrote the strategy in 24 hours and it was approved by the client within 48 hours. 

Letting go of self-doubt means trusting yourself. 

It means having confidence and faith in yourself that you can and will succeed.

(This story serves a two-fold purpose -- it also taught me to have better boundaries against clients changing deadlines! Asking for a day or two more for quality work won't burn a bridge.)

So...if you find yourself reacting to something negatively, stop thinking for a minute. 

Observe the thought -- am I responding to this with fear? Or am I responding to this with love?

You CAN do it. You can.

Let go of any thoughts that tell you otherwise. If you start feeling stressed or panicked, like you can't do something -- view the situation from the outside in. 

If it were your friend experiencing this situation, what would you tell them? How would you support them? 

And change your reaction to your thoughts to one of positive support. 

So before the end of this year, give yourself the best gift ever.

The gift of self-belief. 

Of self-acceptance. 

Know that you've overcome so much -- and take each day a day at a time. 

Think about what good things you want for yourself in 2022.

What brings you joy?

What makes you feel peace?

How can you make yourself feel more love and acceptance?

Make 2022 the year you give back to YOU. 

I believe in you. 

Just breathe. 

You got this.