How to: come home to yourself

Today, I want to talk about one of the most magical feelings in the world.

You're going to laugh at me...but here it is:

...the one where you plop into bed after a long day. 

RIGHT??

It's like....instant relax mode. 

You are completely safe.

Warm.

Happy.

Relaxed.

You can peel back the covers, hop in, and put your head on your pillow and close your eyes and it's heaven. 

Or maybe its curling up on the couch with your pet (or child, or loved one) and a glass of something after you've been racing around all day. 

Or it's finally getting outside for a long run when you've been cooped up indoors and feeling the cool air on your face as you sprint forward. 

Whatever that feeling is, it's magical. 

You can finally rest.

You know that all is well, and you can turn off your thoughts and your body and just sit in the knowing that you're totally SAFE.

This blog today is all about having that feeling of infinite safety and warmth...within YOU. 

All the time.

Sounds good, yes? But wait. 

What if.

What if your home is NOT ready for you?

You know...like when you have laundry that needs to be folded all over your bed... (whoops)

Or you spilled coffee on your couch and there's a deep stain? (I really love my little green furniture steamer...)

Or your favorite running shoes have been worn though? (also guilty haha)

If you're like me (and I'm being totally honest!) sometimes it's an immediate grumble...arghhh ...followed by a bit of a sigh, followed by a solution! 

But take it from me...your home suddenly doesn't feel restful.

You can't relax.

So you need to...tidy up a bit first. :)

I know, I know. 

I'm not saying it's EASY!  

But I am saying it is 100%, without a doubt -- WORTH IT.

Did you know...you can always have the feeling of coming to home to a clean, beautiful, restful space.

You never have to be without it. 

Even when you are traveling, miles away from your own physical home.

When you're at work. Or with family. 

Or even at a stressful doctor's appointment.

Because, you have this secret power. 

You can be your own home, all the time.

But first, internally, you clear away anything that's making your own "home" not peaceful. 

That's the key. 

How do you...come home to yourself?

How do you "clean house" so you can rest easy?

Clearing away the doubts. 

Peeling the onion of alllll those little critical thoughts you may have. 

Honoring your authenticity.

Knowing your own self worth.

And right now you may be thinking... ok, Kristina.

All of that sounds good in theory, but how do I practice this?!

If you're curious to learn more, here are a few of my "hacks":

Hack #1: Stop Kidding Yourself

Yup. Denial isn't just a river in Egypt!   *sorry, had to, bad pun* 

I used to be a biiiiigg culprit of this. 

Your mind will believe whatever you tell it the most. 

So if you continue to say -- nothing is wrong, I'm fine, I don't truly hate this (but you DO) your body will feel it. 

When you lie to yourself, your body can feel it. 

Think about it. It feels weird, doesn't it?

You know something is off. 

I had to take off the self-imposed blinders and start seeing the truth. 

The places where I didn't allow myself any other options than the one I currently had.

Real talk -- I spent many years disliking my work environment before I gained the courage to quit and work for myself.

And by dislike, I mean DREAD. 

There was one job I had where a salesperson used to hunt me down and wait by the bathroom until I came out of it, so he could ask me the status of the project I was working on for him. I still have bad dreams about this sometimes!

And yet, I told myself for years -- this was "normal" and I "liked" this job. 

Mmmhmm. 

Or when something didn't resonate at church for me, like how the rampant sexual abuse of children was hidden and not discussed by church leaders who were meant to be our mentors in honesty, faith, and trust...I told myself "this is normal". 

Or how the church never discussed what the colonization and "Christianization"of indigenous cultures actually meant. 

But it wasn't right. And it isn't right. 

When you have that gut feeling that something isn't right within yourself, please do me a favor... listen.

Listen to your gut.

That's your compass, your guiding force. 

You are incredible. 

You know what is personally true for you, trust it.

Trust yourself. 

And take that inspired action, that little nudge or whisper... to change. 

Hack #2: Stop Over-giving

Your energy is like a current, a river that runs through you.

Imagine you can direct that river in various ways -- a bit to work, a bit to family, a bit to friends, a bit to your health, a bit to this, a bit to that...

But what happens when you aren't directing any of that energy to YOU?

You feel empty.

The river runs dry.

So...maybe start saving just a little bit more energy for you. 

I know what you're thinking...

It feels weird to prioritize yourself if you've been taking care of other people.

But trust me when I say...

it is NOT selfish to take care of yourself -- no matter what you've been told.

It's the most caring thing that you can do, because you cannot pour from an empty cup.

So you can normalize saying no, thank you to things when you are exhausted. 

Like that holiday party that you feel you "must" attend. 

Or that request for last-minute work on Friday night that could absolutely wait until Monday...

Or maybe its not answering the phone when you're drained and tired (for that friend that you know is going to vent for an hour).

It's ok to call them back... when you have your energy in full force. 

Start small. Take it slow.

Reserve some time for your incredible self. 

Connect to others when your cup is full, and they WILL feel the difference. 

Come back home to you. 

You are worth it!!

Hack #3: Everyday Rituals

This is one is my favorite. You want a little more magic in your life?

You have the power to add it in!

Little everyday rituals are the perfect addition. 

They add in a sense of connection and peace in a busy and mundane world.

So, what kind of rituals can you do?

Think of a ritual like...blowing out a candle on a birthday cake and making a wish.

Or wishing on a shooting star. 

Maybe you bless your morning coffee or tea with an intention -- I call in protection and courage while I'm stirring my coffee. 

Or maybe it's an intention that your morning shower washes you clean of any energy that isn't yours, that isn't to your highest good.

Or it's a little prayer of gratitude when you've been driving in your car and reached your final destination.

Or it's a daily meditation and visualization practice, or yoga, or daily prayer. 

I have tons of little rituals I've learned or even made up, and they bring me a great sense of peace.

Whatever it is, it's a little prayer, a wish, some gratitude that connects you to the Divine, the beyond. 

Ritual has been studied to calm the nervous system profoundly -- adding self-confidence, and even a sense of control. 

Well known sports players have some craaaazy rituals you can read about like -- 

Les Miles, former college football coach 
Before every game, Miles would take a chunk of the grass on the field and eat it.  

Ok, maybe don't eat the grass, but you get my meaning!!

Hack #4: Remember Who You Are

Whenever you feel overwhelmed, or anxious, or burdened and just burnt out from life...

Take a beat and come back to you.

Close your eyes. 

Take a deep breath.

Hold it for four counts, and let it go.

Excellent. 

Put your hand on your heart and feel it beating there. 

Know that with every heartbeat, you are alive.

You are a tremendous gift. 

You are here for a reason.

You have an exceptional array of gifts, talents, perspectives and insights that make you...YOU.

So the next time you feel stressed, call back your energy.

Your power, your self-worth.

And know that you are amazing. 

You CAN do this.

Feel these words resonate within you and make sure you congratulate yourself!

Self-work is not easy, but it is so, so worth it. 

The more you unravel who you were, and get to the core of who you truly are, the more life just seems to open up with opportunities. 

So, with each of these steps...you are clearing the path to know yourself more. 

You're learning to let go of what's not working to make room for what DOES.

So you can come home to yourself every day.

A home of truth.

A home where you've nourished yourself and have enough energy.

A home of deep connection within. 

Always remember:

You are safe.

You are loved.

You are worthy.

I'm so proud of you.

Keep going, you got this!