Sharing Stories

Have you ever read one of those books that you simply can't put down?

You know, the ones where you become just a little obsessed with it.

You pick up the book whenever you had 5 minutes just to get in one. more. chapter.

You walked around the house with it. 

You read it while you were drinking coffee, eating lunch, walking on the treadmill (aka in my case: falling off the treadmill....!!)

You felt like you were totally living this character's life -- feeling their happiness, sadness, excitement, relief. 

These books are the best, because the author knows how to write to encapsulate empathy -- you feel with AND for this character in your novel.

Stories are powerful. 

Sometimes it's good to reflect on the stories we tell ourselves. 

The good AND the bad.

We tell ourselves stories about who we are. 

Who we were. 

Who we want to become. 

Sometimes (like a game of telephone) the stories we tell ourselves can get a little distorted. 

We often tell ourselves things that simply aren't true, or we dramatize what really happened.

Sometimes it's important to take a good hard look at yourself, and realize -- hey. I don't need to keep telling myself that anymore. I can choose a new story. Be a new character. 

We look back at an old version of ourselves and we say -- well, that's just who I am now. That's who I'll always be. 

I look back on some of my "old stories"... 

Once upon a time...

I was a chronic people pleaser. 

A perfectionist. 

A hard-core worrier (with lots of self-doubt).

Sometimes, all of these things would hit at once.

Yup.  

For example: I would do something for someone that I really didn't want to do (ugh, GUILT!), I would obsess that I was doing it perfectly, then I would worry that they would be MAD if I didn't do it perfectly and then I was worried they wouldn't ask me for help again!

OY. VEY. Complex much? ha!

I also kept my emotions tightly buried and held inside, because what would people think if I actually said what I was feeling? Or said something like..."I'm so sorry, I can't help you with that right now. I CAN help you with X, Y, Z though."

I lived like this for years until I started spiraling a bit and then hit the major reset button on life (my first post is on this) and with all of that....I realized that life is short.

Too short to be worrying so much. Too short to be obsessed with society's expectations of perfection. 

I started stepping away from society's rules and writing my own. 

I went within in meditation and started listening to the voice that I'd be silencing for years. 

And it told me...why don't you share your story?

In all honesty, starting this blog was one of the hardest things for me to do...because I had to "put myself out there" knowing that not everyone will agree with the words I write. 

But that's ok! Everyone has free will. You can choose what you align with.

The fact that I can own my own narrative of truth is enough for me.  

So...what "old stories" could you spring clean?

Any of the jobs, projects, beliefs, behaviors that have been maintained from a place of:

• It's just always been like that
• I have to because I owe them
• It's how I was raised
• It's expected of me

You can gently let those go now...without any judgement.

For so many years we may have been committed to stories and people and habits that aren't really in alignment with us, and it left us feeling depleted. 

So go in and "Marie Kondo" some of those stories you're telling yourself...

Does _______ spark soul-deep joy? 

No? If not, it may be time to let it go for good. 

Deep down, you know what you need for yourself to be whole.

And once you understand yourself, you realize you don't need to depend on those old stories anymore. 

On the other hand -- it's also powerful to SHARE inspirational stories. 

I was with a lovely group of people this weekend and ended up hearing of several people's  stories of what they were going through, and how they found the strength to overcome the difficulty and find joy through the challenges they were facing. 

One friend was struggling with the rollercoaster of health issues, but was able to see find the positives within all of it -- a great test result, a walk outside, sharing coffee with friends. 

Another friend was balancing the emotions around her parent that needs hospice care, but saw the strength of the nurses that surrounded her Dad. 

A friend was adjusting to new life with an infant, but despite the lack of sleep, found true joy in seeing her baby smile and laugh for the first time. 

It's incredible when people open up their hearts to share what they're going through.

And it's not easy, I get it. 

It takes strength and vulnerability to be truly honest. 

But at the end of the day, you'll find that when you share your stories, others can relate. 

Maybe not in the exact fashion, but we're all humans. Everyone has or is struggling with something!

Some of the best stories to share are the ones where you can be a little bit of light for someone else. 

Or you can provide the light for someone by simply listening. 

The story you share with another could powerfully help them. 

They may be going through the exact same thing you are. 

So today...if you're open to it, take a minute to reflect on your stories. 

Maybe gently let go of a few that you're telling yourself that you don't need anymore. 

And maybe, if you feel called to it -- drop someone a note and check in with them. 

Open your heart.

Ask them to share a story with you. 

You'll make their day. 

I'm always here to listen to your stories...and thank you for reading mine! 

And remember -- breathe deeply. 

You got this.